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Peacemaking Vs Peacekeeping
Brian Mashburn
May 14, 2006
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Peace-Takers, Peace-Keepers Or Peace-Makers
Three boys sat in the jail silently looking at the floor, waiting for each of their parents to get there and take them home. Their choices caught up with them tonight. Each set of parents come and take their respective boys home.
The Peacetaking Parents are best described as completely enraged. They are angry because they are embarrassed, inconvenienced, disgusted, and disturbed. Secretly, they feel that their son's choice is more of a statement about their own failures, which teaches him that his choices have power over them. They react out of total insecurity, but aren't aware of it, having never had a genuine, immovable relationship with the "God of peace". While generally effective at manipulating circumstances and behavior for short periods of time, the Peacetaking Parents are incapable of making peace appear in the hearts of others.
The Peacekeeping Parents are as silent as their boy on the car ride home. They are also embarrassed, inconvenienced, and disturbed, and are looking for the shortest path back to what they consider "normalcy". They don't talk about it, hoping to God that the silence will somehow magically change things, and the problems will go away. When their son feebly attempts much needed dialogue with a quiet, "I'm sorry. I just..." his parents snap their heads and look at him with wide, serious eyes and say, "We don't want to talk about it." They never do. They can't handle the chaos of life. So they do all they can to "keep the peace" externally, scared to death of inner truth and confrontation. They are also unable to make peace in others.
The Peacemaking Parents are best described as a healthy balance of grace and truth. Their son knows he in for it, but also that he is safe. His misbehavior has no real power over them, serving only as direction for what they need to address next, which they are glad to do. He has some reflecting to do, and consequences to pay, but for his own good and spiritual formation. The Peacemaking Parents have spent their lives coming to grips with themselves by knowing how God is with them. They spread peace to everyone they have contact with. According to Mt. 5:9, they are called "sons of God".